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Don’t forget your top performers. They need feedback too!

I recently had coffee with a senior leader from a large organization, and he mentioned that he had a new boss and how his new boss was so different from his previous boss, whom he had worked under for more than 10 years. He commented that last month he had received his first performancereview in 10 years, and it was quite refreshing.

Given my curious nature, I asked what made it so refreshing, as that is not typically an adjective that I hearwhenit comes to performance reviews. He responded that the reviewwas overall very good, and that what stuck out was the feedback on his performance that he received during the conversation. His new boss was very specific in what he was doing well, and sited several examples that he had observed over the prior year; and he also identified a couple of areas that, in his opinion, would help this senior leader be more effective. He was again specific on those recommendations, and offered continued support.

My client’s response to his annual review and feedback was what resonated with me. He commented that for 10 years he had gotten used to being left alone and only heard from his previous boss when there was a numbers issue. No feedback, no reviews, and no calls unless something was wrong. He said that he had gotten used to no feedback, and had learned to make up his own feedback!

What surprised him was two things: 1) he didn’t realize how much he missed getting specific feedback; and 2) he thought he didn’t need feedback, when in reality he valued feedback far more than heever thought.

So here’s the takeaway. Never underestimate the positive effects of feedback and how important it is even for your high performers. As leaders, it’s not uncommon to neglect our high performers because we get busy with other issues and rationalize to ourselves that they don’t need feedback and coaching because they’re doing so well.

If you haven’t given feedback to one of your strong performers lately, you know that one who is doing their job and is doing it well…then, reach out now and share some feedback. Theyjust might find your conversation (and feedback) refreshing!

What Every Leader Needs to Know About Coaching

In our coaching workshops, we differentiate between management, feedback, and coaching conversations. It’s important for managers to differentiate between the three types of conversations, and determine when to use the different approaches. To review, management conversations are focused on advising, giving instructions, and directing the conversation to help your team members get specific things done. Feedback conversations focus on past behaviors to help people understand the impact of their behaviors, and what needs to change going forward. Coaching conversations are future-focused, and are used to engage, motivate, and empower people to achieve goals that they care about, and ultimately elevate their capabilities by unleashing their potential.

In my last blog, I mentioned a leader that I’m coaching who received feedback that he was not coaching his people enough, and that his team members wanted more “coaching.” He was taken aback, and couldn’t decipher why they weren’t “feeling the love,” to use his language.

We reviewed what true coaching is, and what he needed to change going forward. During that discussion, we reviewed seven practices that make the biggest difference in one’s ability to coach effectively.

1)      Establish the purpose of your meeting right from the start. Clarify that the purpose of the conversation is to advance them, not address issues and problem solve. A useful tool is the How I Want to be Coached form. It’s a great way to set the tone for coaching right from the start.

2)      Start the conversation by asking what they want to discuss.  Agree to a goal or outcome for the conversation.

3)      Ask insightful questions. Use “how” and “what” questions to open the conversation, such as: What are you working on? What are you trying to accomplish? How is your style affecting your effectiveness? Avoid having the conversation migrate to others. Keep it focused on them, and how they can change tomorrow.

4)      Challenge beliefs that could be limiting their effectiveness. Challenge your coachee to be more aware of beliefs and assumptions that may be getting in the way of them showing up in a way that they believe will help them.

5)      Listen for understanding. Your job is to facilitate the conversation so they can explore options and discover different ways to move forward. If you tend to jump in and problem solve, push your pause button. Ask questions, and listen deeply.

6)      Narrow the focus. Once they have identified options to move forward, help them narrow the options. Ask them which of the options resonate most with them. If they have too many options, nothing will get done.

7)      Follow-up and support. Marshall Goldsmith and Howard Morgan wrote a great article entitled Leadership is a Contact Sport, and in the article they outlined the importance of follow-up, support, and encouragement. Remember that all it takes is one question, one check-in, to see how things are going.

As we concluded our own coaching conversation, it was obvious that his “coaching” conversations were more about reacting to problems, dealing with people issues, and task management; and not about advancing his team members. He has since responded by implementing 1:1 monthly meetings that are focused on true coaching.

Why Managers Think They’re Coaching When They’re Not!

I recently worked with a leader who received feedback on a 360 that indicated his coaching of his direct reports was negligible. After giving it some thought, he still disagreed with the feedback. When we discussed the feedback, his argument continued to be, “Hey, I meet with my people at least every month, sometimes weekly. So, I don’t understand why they don’t think they’re getting coaching!” This is not an unusual response to this type of feedback, so let’s explore this disconnect…because there is a big disconnect.

My experience, having worked with hundreds of managers, is that it comes down to the quality and type of conversation that they’re having with their team members. Some managers  don’t understand what “real coaching” looks like.  They believe that meetings focused on project updates, pipeline reports, and operational issues are coaching discussions. They are not. These are management conversations, and should be differentiated from coaching conversations.

Coaching is a practice to develop an individual’s knowledge, skills, and abilities so they can achieve their maximum potential. Coaching is about helping individuals expand their awareness and discover options for moving forward on what they care about. Coaching is grounded in listening, asking questions, and exploring alternatives to create the results the coachee wants. I like the way John Zenger and Kathleen Stinnett in their book titled, The Extraordinary Coach, further define coaching: “Coaching helps individuals discover answers within themselves and helps them feel more personally empowered. The coach is also dedicated to helping to ensure the implementation and long-term follow-through of planned actions.”

The question I had for the leader who received the feedback on his coaching was, are you coaching or are you having a management discussion during your 1:1 meetings? The answer was clear for him. They have been directive management meetings versus true coaching conversations.

What types of conversations are you having with your people? If you’re having discussions on career aspirations, personal goals, self-limiting beliefs, and professional development objectives – you’re operating in the coaching genre. If you’re talking about projects, deadlines, process issues, etc. you’re having management conversations.

Next, I will share seven practices that the best coaches use to engage, empower, and motivate their teams to higher levels of performance.